Sensible Bakwas » Fiction, poetry » The tale of seven goodbyes
The tale of seven goodbyes
The following post is a short story written in the the form of a poem with seven chapters or “Seven Goodbyes” and every chapter is a Fiction 77. Scratching your head? Well, don’t, just read it and enjoy. I hope you guys like it. Don’t forget to leave your feedback in the comment section.
***The first goodbye – the store***
“Hey!” a voice so sweet called out
A sound so magical, I quickly turned around
“She’s hot, she can’t be calling me.” I thought
Wondering for whom it was, I looked here and there
“Hey, I am talking to you.” She said with a stare
“Is this your’s? You left it at the store.”
“Yes, it is! Thank you very much!”
“Your welcome” she said, with a twinkle in her eye
I smiled as she bid goodbye.
***The second Goodbye – goodbye to my dreams***
I sat on my chair looking hypnotized
With thoughts of the morning’s surprise
“Oh my God!”
Exclaimed a face staring at mine
“He’s my only brother, don’t do this to him”
“He’s in love, I know his chances are pretty slim!”
“Stop that rubbish, it’s not what you think.”
“I am just in a good mood, stop giving me that wink.”
“I have to forget.” I told myself with a sigh
As I bid my dreams goodbye
***The third goodbye – there is no saying goodbye***
The night was dark, the rains pouring hard
The roads blocked, the traffic stood still
Among the crazy noises, I heard a voice, shrill
A girl all wet was trying to make her way through
“Hey store lady, hop into my car!”
It took her a while to recognize
And I found her inside before I realized
Smiles through the miles, I was on a high
Yes, I was in love, now there was no saying goodbye
***The fourth goodbye – I wish there is no goodbye***
SMSes turned to phone calls
I soon found myself shopping at the malls
Lunches, dinners and ice-cream
Every single moment felt like a dream
Embarrassing acts were now fun to do
“The world means nothing”, I told myself
All that matters is me and you
Intimate, mushy conversations and the occasional fight
Everything was brilliant, it all felt so right
But there was always a fear, I don’t know why
Was there ever gonna be a goodbye?
***The fifth goodbye – the betrayal***
“I love you” I said after a romantic speech
Sitting on the beach
She looked at me as if I had gone mad
“Are you kidding me? We have had loads of fun.”
“But that’s all that can be done.”
“Where are you and where am I?!”
“I thought you were different, but you’re just another stupid guy.”
My heart was heavy and I wanted to cry
But I walked away from there without even saying goodbye.
***The sixth goodbye – end of a chapter?***
“I’ll never forgive you.” I said to myself holding my head
“The words that you said I shall never forget.
I know I said I loved you
I hate you more than I can ever do.
You didn’t even deserve my friendship forget my love
I’ll make you suffer the way I am now
I swear by the lord above
You were right where are you and where am I
It’s time to say a final goodbye.”
***The final goodbye – three years later***
“Hey!” I shouted behind the lady who left her bag
“Is this your’s? You left it at the store.”
“Yes, it is! Thank you very much!” Said a familiar sound
And I saw her guilt-writen face as she turned around
“Thank you”, I said after a pause “for showing me what love felt like.”
“I promised myself all I wanted was, to see you cry.
But I am just glad today that I can finally say goodbye.”
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Written by Tavish Chadha
Tavish is the administrator and founder of Sensible Bakwas. He is a software engineer by profession and a writer by passion. In case you want to get in touch with him, he is an email away at tavish.chadha@gmail.com. Hope you enjoy your time here. Do leave your feedback in the comment section here.
Filed under: Fiction, poetry · Tags: 77-fiction, blog-a-ton, goodbye, poetry, short stories
67 Responses to "The tale of seven goodbyes"
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About the Author
Tavish Chadha is a blogger from Hyderabad and has been a part of the world of bloggers since January 2008. More »
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Blog-a-tonic of the month for March 2010 and April 2010.
I am a Veteran BATonic.
You know why your blog is so good? It is so raw, and perfect the way it is. You don’t go trying to make it look good. Keep on going. Loving every single post. Wishing that there was a little ‘devil’ residing in me too.
Thanks Abhi! Btw there is a devil within u and u know that… ive told u that a million times…. u just have to let it come out…
WOW, this is indeed very awesome Tavish.
You tell a story like a romantic bard.
And every Goodbye was more interesting than the previous leading me on to read what happens next?
Creativity at its best!
ATB for BATOM 13
Romantic bard haan? wow… thats some compliment… thanks Vibhs… all the best to u too! 🙂
Awesome Tavish! I have no other words.
All the best for BAT!
Thanks Samadrita! 🙂
wow.. nice one Tavish..! a love story in rhyme..
all the best for BATOM..!
Thanks Leo… glad u liked it…
Superb! 🙂 Superb!
Thanks buddy! 🙂
dude.. u r amazing.. love story in a poem and u did it effortlessly!
all the best for BATOM!
Thanks again… all the best to u too! 🙂
A tale of goodbyes.
Very very nice. With emphasis on the Very.
ATB for BAT13
Gkam – Goodbye
Hey thanks buddy… will read ur entry soon too… all the best to u too!
Loved the style of writing which even had a glint of humor in it. Enjoyed all your goodbyes!! 🙂
A nice love poem, which was very unusually done….And even felt sorry for the “I” in this poem who was betrayed.
Outstanding lines:
** “I hate you more than I can ever do.
You didn’t even deserve my friendship forget my love”
** “Thank you”, I said after a pause “for showing me what love felt like.”
** “But I am just glad today that I can finally say goodbye.”
Excellently done Tavish!! Simple and Sweet!!
ATB for BAT 13!! 😀
Hey thanks Rumya… u have done some analysis haven’t u! SOme of the lines u mentioned are my fav too… all th best to u too Rumya… 🙂
Excellent! A simple story within a poem, which totally elevates it. Made for smooth, easy reading! All the best for BATOM!
Thanks allot buddy… all the best to u too! 🙂
thats a beautifully narrated story…
different kinds of goodbyes blended beautifully 🙂
Thanks Rajlakshmi glad u liked it!! 🙂
Very lyrical and well told..seemed like a song sung on guitar humming ‘goodbye’ as end stroke. This fiction 77 is nice way to present a song, enjoyed this post :))
Hey thank u! will try composing a tune for it…. was actually thinking of having that as a BAT entry too this time… will reserve it for the next BAT 😛
Perhaps, I dont Hate Love Story!
Awesome effort!
🙂
~Keep the Spark ALive..
Thanks allot Rachana!
Hi buddy, your blog’s design is simple and clean and i like it. Your blog posts are superb. Please keep them coming. Greets!!!
Thank u so much!
Nice Sonnet Tavish….. it was captivating….
and a variations of emotions,well captured..
Hey thanks Aabid… glad u liked it… thanks for paying a visit 🙂
oiieeeeeeeeeee………..ekdum fataaaannggg 😀 😀 😀
mastttt likha hai 😀
all the best for BAT..
muje hairaani nai hogi if u win it again 😛
aww thank u so much Meggie… tere moo mein ghee shakar…. oops sorry thanks nahi thankiies 😛
Now this is sheer originality! Brilliant! I loved this saga of goodbyes
Hey thanks Ritu di… gla du liked it 🙂
tavish
That was just a perfect read!
Love story – fitted into the different kinds of good-bye.
the good-bye said with anticipation and longing to be able to meet again – the love at first sight times..
the good-bye said with a silly-love-lost heart , not wanting to say bye to the good flirting times…
the good-bye forced on you by your love
the good-bye said with 🙂 all the confidence in the world after recovering!!
I just loved it!! Brilliant effort!
Thank u so much my friend… i am flattered… glad u liked it! 🙂
What a riveting and brilliant piece of fiction, Tavish bhai! This ingenious and lovely post makes me want to read it again and again!!!
You are one heck of an outstanding writer, Tavish! The world needs more awesome and creative people like you!
Thank u so much Parth. I feel so touched by your lovely words. Readers like u mean the world to me… thank allot once again 🙂
hey der…a really nice take on d topic n a well written 7-part poem 😀
Thanks u so much my friend… welcome to Sensible Bakwas 🙂
Whoa! So many goodbyes, and each one is equally good. 🙂
Thank you so much my friend. i am glad u liked it. 🙂
This was very innovative tavish…you are one helluva writer man!!!…and finally i am back on the blogosphere …hope i stay here for sometime!!!
Thanks Shahid… and yes i am glad u r back… looking fwd to reading some of ur amazing stuff… 🙂
Hi Tavish,
How you’ve been, looks like i have missed a lot. I saw your music video. Excellent bro, very well done. Your rhyme here is good as ever, my best wishes to you
Hey Harsha, yes buddy long time no see. Thanks for checking out the video and am glad u liked it. Thanks for your lovely comments….
Cheers!
Tavish! the geat Tavish!
you’re an answer to a question! thumbs up!
you always make innovations and i like it! sensible really!
all the best for BAT! 🙂
Thank u so much for the kind words Amity. I am glad u liked it. All the best to you too! 🙂
Tavish,
As usual you are at your best, i love rhymming it..
Template looks very cool and also your way of presenting things are also great.. superb man…
Yours Frendly,
Saravana Kumar M
Thanks allot Saravana for your kind words. I a really glad u liked it! 🙂
Really really good. Very powerful, and so real-like.
Thank you for this.
Well, I should be thanking you for your comments!! 🙂
Thanks allot for the appreciations. I am glad you liked it. 🙂
Hey Tavish, really creative post.. The story told was not new bt definitely the presentation made all the difference.. 7 77-Fictions in form of a poem, gr8 wrk 🙂
ATB!!!
thanks allot buddy… this is something I have been wanting to do for a pretty logntime actually… earlier thought of 10 fiction 55s but then settled for 7 77-fictions… it was tough and am just glad its left the desired effect on ppl… all the best to u too buddy! 🙂
Its the novelty of the idea..tht strikes every1 down!!
All the best for BATOM-13!
Thanks Viyoma. i am glad and to be honest relieved that it had the desired effect… all the best to u too! 🙂
That has to be the most creative post in the entire BAT! Your effort shows and hope it pays off. 🙂
For a moment there, I expected some sad ending or revenge with that “I shall never forgive you”. But unexpected and awesome ending.
All the best!
🙂 am glad the eding surprised u and thanks allot for the kind appreciations… am glad its having the desired effect… all the best to u too!! 🙂
Excellent.. All da best 🙂
Thanks allot buddy!! 😀
Honest words 🙂 Beautifully written!
This is the first time I visited your blog….and i m sure i ll keep visiting again and again 🙂
All the best for BAT!!!
Hey Mayur, in case u thinking this is my story… ITS NOT! 🙂 it was totally out of pure imagination.
Anyways thank u so much for your kind comments… and a very warm welcome tom Sensible Bakwas. 🙂
You never let me down! I totally love your posts and this one was a really good one!
All the best!
Thank u so much Sandy. I really glad to hear from u after a pretty long time! Thanks for your lovely words 🙂
Hi Tavish…I like reading your blog… Don’t remember if i ever left a comment though, because I am always at loss with words after reading your posts :)..
Awesome… just awesome.. loved it write from the beginning till the end.. nice flow.. touched the cords of my heart..
Hey Anshul thank u so much for your kind words! Good to see your comment here… am glad u liked it… 🙂
I heard “alvida kehne se milne ki umeed mar jati”.. yeh tumhara wala alvida mujhe kehta hai – har pal naya hai, har mulakat nayi hai..aur ek nayi kahani..
🙂 yahi toh zindagi hai… har pal naya hai aur har pal nayi kahani… 🙂
waise tumhara comment padhe ke baad mujhe lagta hai ke tumhe kavitayien likhni chahiye… kafi poetic comment tha 🙂
anyways thanks allot for that… 🙂
Man, I thought you wrote this recently.. pretty old huh?