Sensible Bakwas » Fiction, personal » What If…

What If…

“You can’t really connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backward”
–Steve Jobs
“What if?”

It’s strange how a two worded term like this can play such a significant role in our daily lives. It’s a question we ask ourselves almost every single day.

Tonight as Gurdeep’s tries to join the dots looking back that’s exactly what he asks himself.

Today Gurdeep had just got a new job in a leading multi-national. Everyone at home was ecstatic. They all knew how badly Gurdeep wanted this job. The phone was ringing throughout the day congratulating him on his achievement. It was only that night when Gurdeep was on his bed that he had time to digest the whole thing. He just lay back and wondered:
“What if I gave up on life 8 years ago? What if I had gone that one step further and ended my life? Who would have thought at that moment that I would come this far? ”


Gurdeep was born to a couple who would be one of the most loving parents god had ever created. He was pampered to the core; more with just pure love rather than anything else. At the age of 2, Gurdeep developed a problem called Hydrocephalus. It’s a physical problem that affects the head. It can have some mental repercussions. But, thankfully that didn’t happen in Gurdeep’s case. The doctors had advised Gurdeep’s parents to pay close attention towards Gurdeep’s behaviour until he was 7, just to make sure there weren’t any mental repercussions. Gurdeep’s parents showered all the love they had on Gurdeep. They protected him from anything and everything. He was spoon fed with everything, be it his school homework, his studies, everything. He was never that great at studies, but that was ok for his parents, they didn’t really mind. Gurdeep though, was an ambitious guy, he always wanted to do well. Things went on that way until he was 10. That’s when his twin sisters were born. Gurdeep’s parents thought he was old enough to handle his life with a little bit of guidance and they can concentrate on looking after the newly born kids.
Unfortunately though, that was not to happen. Gurdeep’s grades at school kept falling. He shifted from a boy’s school to a co-education school and that proved really difficult to handle for him. Things went from bad to worse. His teachers taunted him every single day.

“You good for nothing fellow, you just can’t get anywhere in life! “

He was beaten up and humiliated for not finishing his home work. Slowly and steadily Gurdeep lost interest in studies, had no friends and developed a major inferiority complex. Gurdeep wasn’t the kind of person who would open up so easily. His parents thought things were all fine. Every day was a living nightmare for Gurdeep. He would go into the washroom every day, look into the mirror and wished he was dead. But, whenever he thought of doing something to himself, the image of his father would come in front of his eyes. Gurdeep knew, his dad won’t be able to see Gurdeep’s dead body and if something happened to him then Gurdeep’s mom won’t be able to take it. He couldn’t let that happen to the only two people in his life, he just couldn’t.

Then one day after another day of torture at school, Gurdeep came back home. He couldn’t take it anymore. He just caught hold of his mother and started crying. He cried and cried and cried. It was as if all the tears he had hidden inside himself came out all at once.  Gurdeep’s mother was shocked. When she asked Gurdeep what’s wrong, he told her everything. Since then Gurdeep’s parents helped him grow his self confidence back slowly and steadily. It wasn’t easy. It took him eight long years to get his confidence back. Today as he looks back at his life. He has no tears in his eyes. He just wonders:

“What if life had been different? What If I had a life like any other kid? Would things have been different?”

“Yes, they would have been different. But the guy whom everybody thought was not good enough to get anywhere is successful in his own rights. The guy who had no friends at one point has at least 300 odd friends on just FB. I don’t care what i was. I am just bothered about the fact that I am bloody proud of who I am. I have moved from a guy who once wanted to end his life, to a guy who wants to live every moment as if he has never lived before.”


Well, Gurdeep isn’t the guy’s real name. This is my story I just narrated. Guys, life is full of “What ifs”.  There can be a million possibilities of how our lives can end up, based on that “what if”, just be proud of who you are and be happy and thankful with the life you have at the moment. Trust me it’s the best you could have had.

Written by

Tavish is the administrator and founder of Sensible Bakwas. He is a software engineer by profession and a writer by passion. In case you want to get in touch with him, he is an email away at Hope you enjoy your time here. Do leave your feedback in the comment section here.

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66 Responses to "What If…"

  1. Naveen says:

    I js LUVDDDD IT!!!

    U ROCK buddy!!

  2. Karthik says:

    Beautiful, Tavish! Though I've not all the posts on your blog, but I somehow feel this is your best. Kudos, man!
    I had a feeling while reading this that it could be a real life experience, and the last paragraph said it all.
    So true. Hope and confidence are all that matter in our lives.
    The story, the narration, everything was superb!
    All the best for BATOM! 🙂

  3. mycorner says:

    it wasn't hard to guess it was ur story.
    good one..looks like you have caught on the writing bug.

  4. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks dude. Am glad you liked it. 🙂

  5. Tavish Chadha says:

    Wow! Thats a really flattering comment!! Thanks a ton!! i am honored!! 😀

  6. Tarun Mitra says:

    good one Tavish..:)

  7. Tavish Chadha says:

    hehe… I guess so…Thanks!!! 🙂

  8. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks!!! 🙂

  9. magiceye says:

    good on you! way to go!!

  10. Shilpa Garg says:

    Good one!! And good to see a survivor and a fighter and a winner!
    Cheers and best of luck! 🙂

  11. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks allot for those comments! 🙂

  12. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks for those lovely comments Shilpa! All the best to you too! 🙂

  13. Shahid says:

    Oh my god…..I am so proud to know a fighter like you man…..remain strong


  14. IIM ka Sarkari Babu says:

    Awesome man, always like to know about you – how abt getting sloshed this new year's eve? What say?

  15. Megha says:

    Well narrated. Life is too precious to finish for these trivial & insensitive world…

  16. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks man… thanks for those comments! 🙂

  17. Tavish Chadha says:

    IIM ka Sarkari Babu
    lol yeah have to write about that now!! 😀
    Thanks for the comments man! 🙂

  18. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thats true Megha… its just that when someone is going thru all the trauma its hard to reason that out… thnaks for your commens! 🙂

  19. Sureindran says:

    good one friend. keep writing!

  20. Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe says:

    hey nice one…finally the winner stand up in d end….:)

  21. psychedchick says:

    Like some1 said, if our lives would be perfect we wouldnt be the amazing people we are now!

    Amazing story and I'm glad you could fight it!

  22. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks allot buddy… welcome to the blog! 🙂

  23. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks dude am glad u like it. Welcome to the blog! 🙂

  24. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks allot!! Welcome to the blog! 🙂

  25. Raksha Raman says:

    When the going gets tough, the tough gets going! 🙂 We all face adversities at some point in time in life..What differentiates between a loser and a fighter is the fact that the latter always finds a way to stand up after a fall whereas the former gives up! All the best with life and BATOM! Hope you have many a proud moments in life!

  26. Madhu | says:

    That was such a nice post Tavish. I had a lingering feeling it was a story of someone you know and boy was I surprised and humbled knowing you have braved all that and turned out to be a fine young man.

    It is not easy to deal with childhood illnesses ; but positive stories like yours will give the people impetus to keep trying and do the best they can.

    Bravo my friend and congrats on your job 🙂

  27. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thank you so so much for those comments… u r right… there is just that tiny thin line between a loser and a winer… its all about that one decision…

  28. Tavish Chadha says:

    if this story inspires anybody to fight the odds… ill be the happiest soul on earth… thanks so much for the lovely comments 🙂

  29. ViShaL says:

    Very well written – keep up the good work buddy!

  30. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks for the comments… and welcome to the blog…

  31. Mural! says:

    Wow! you already got my interest with the header for the post……and then more with some smooth narration. In all, great to know about a fighter like you……!!

    Life is indeed beautiful!

  32. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks allot for those kind words Murali… welcome to the blog! 🙂

  33. Makk says:

    Keep it up dude…

    Keep smiling!

  34. Shruti says:

    Very good narration! Like raksha said, When the tough gets going, the going gets tough! We do face difficulties, but in the end, what we are is the final thing!
    Now u r a winner here! U have fought and won the life with confidence!!

    Very good Tavish! All the best!

  35. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks buddy…

  36. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks for those lovely comments Shruti… 🙂

  37. dilontherocks says:

    Very good..well written…God know what these ppl go through..
    And as u said while ending the story..No matter what we are and how we are, its the self-confidence and the thought to do something makes one great..
    Good luck Tavish..

  38. Tanmaya says:

    Hi nice write up.. kinda guessed that it is a real life story… good for you… keep it going…. I know how tough it gets when one loses the confidence in oneself.. glad you found it back… hoping i find mine back too.. your post inspired me.. thank yu..

  39. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks for those comments buddy… well not just that… when i look back at things today.. i know if i cud get thru that, I can get thru anything… so all those days , however painfull they were are an asset today… 🙂

  40. Tavish Chadha says:

    Hey firstly thanks for stopping by and I am so glad I inspired you… just keep going on… dont ever give up… even if there seems darkness at the other side if the tunnel dont stop… I am a living example of that… and once again I am really glad that this has inspired you… 🙂

  41. aativas says:

    Glad to know a fighter like you.. keep it up friend and you will have many more horizons to conquer..and you will conquer those too.. good luck and keep writing

  42. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thank you so much buddy 🙂

  43. Neha says:

    hey Tavish, this was a "straight from your heart" is so nice to see u emerge as a winner in the end..:)

  44. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thank you so much Neha 🙂

  45. Mahesh Kalaal says:

    Touching and quite impacting

  46. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks Mahesh. I am glad it had that effect. Welcome to the blog. 🙂

  47. abd wahab says:

    mubaaraka bhadaayiyaa phataake
    chaddah ji tussi loga which emotion di khelrahehoo.
    tofaa kubuul karo..

  48. Tavish Chadha says:

    Dude stop trying your hand at Punjabi… u know u suck at it 😛

  49. The West Wind says:

    Wow .. great post!! Inspiring and motivating 🙂 I am glad u shared ur story with us 🙂 Best of luck..

  50. Tavish Chadha says:

    The West Wind
    Thanks for those comments. I am glad it inspired you. 🙂
    All the best to you too! 🙂

  51. Harsha Chittar says:

    really good one my friend, excellent narration also I could at times relate to some of the lines…I kinda agree with Karthik this looks your best 🙂

  52. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks allot Harsha… am glad u liked it. 🙂

  53. pushpee says:

    Very inspiring story..u should share ur story with 'chicken soup of indian souls' u could get this published..:))

  54. Yemiledu says:

    :~) Well narrated Tavish!
    Some time during the middel,I thought it must have been the story of some onw you knew…I was right it's the story of someone whom you know so well!!
    Way to go!!!

    Take care!
    LOved this post!

  55. Tavish Chadha says:

    Hey thanks and welcome to the blog… chicken soup for the indian sould haan… is it that inspiring? Thanks… ill think about it 🙂

  56. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks Archana… am glad u liked it…

  57. Shas says:

    I was moved by the story.
    You have come a long way. Kudos to u for not giving it up!! I wish ur teachers were a bit more sensitive.

  58. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks allot Shas for those comments. 🙂

    Well you know what, I thanks those teachers at times. If it wasnt for them I know I wouldnt have had to go through all this, but the fact that I came out of it and came out strong, just gives me the confidence that I can get thru anything come what may. 🙂

  59. CHANDU VENU says:

    Abey Chadha….tuje mein 4th class se jaantha aur tujme ithni talent hain bolke malum nahi tha….SERIOUSLY BRO, THIS IS REALLY AMAZING…YOU ROCK…KEEP GOING LENGTHS!!!!!

  60. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thansk allot buddy… thats was seriously flattering…

  61. Nikhil Patokar says:

    Way to Go Friend, Life…It Is, Find Your Way…

    My Last Post- What If You Were My Valentine

  62. Tavish Chadha says:

    Thanks buddy! Welcome to the blog!

  63. wordsmith says:

    *comments to be deilvered in person.

  64. Tavish Chadha says:

    Comments received… thanks!!

  65. Talha says:

    Oye Chak De Phatte….
    Paaji tussi great ho jiiiii. gr8888!!!!!

    1. Tavish Chadha says:

      Thanks bhai 🙂

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