“You can’t really connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backward”
It’s strange how a two worded term like this can play such a significant role in our daily lives. It’s a question we ask ourselves almost every single day.
Tonight as Gurdeep’s tries to join the dots looking back that’s exactly what he asks himself.
Today Gurdeep had just got a new job in a leading multi-national. Everyone at home was ecstatic. They all knew how badly Gurdeep wanted this job. The phone was ringing throughout the day congratulating him on his achievement. It was only that night when Gurdeep was on his bed that he had time to digest the whole thing. He just lay back and wondered:
“What if I gave up on life 8 years ago? What if I had gone that one step further and ended my life? Who would have thought at that moment that I would come this far? ”
Gurdeep was born to a couple who would be one of the most loving parents god had ever created. He was pampered to the core; more with just pure love rather than anything else. At the age of 2, Gurdeep developed a problem called Hydrocephalus. It’s a physical problem that affects the head. It can have some mental repercussions. But, thankfully that didn’t happen in Gurdeep’s case. The doctors had advised Gurdeep’s parents to pay close attention towards Gurdeep’s behaviour until he was 7, just to make sure there weren’t any mental repercussions. Gurdeep’s parents showered all the love they had on Gurdeep. They protected him from anything and everything. He was spoon fed with everything, be it his school homework, his studies, everything. He was never that great at studies, but that was ok for his parents, they didn’t really mind. Gurdeep though, was an ambitious guy, he always wanted to do well. Things went on that way until he was 10. That’s when his twin sisters were born. Gurdeep’s parents thought he was old enough to handle his life with a little bit of guidance and they can concentrate on looking after the newly born kids.
Unfortunately though, that was not to happen. Gurdeep’s grades at school kept falling. He shifted from a boy’s school to a co-education school and that proved really difficult to handle for him. Things went from bad to worse. His teachers taunted him every single day.
“You good for nothing fellow, you just can’t get anywhere in life! “
He was beaten up and humiliated for not finishing his home work. Slowly and steadily Gurdeep lost interest in studies, had no friends and developed a major inferiority complex. Gurdeep wasn’t the kind of person who would open up so easily. His parents thought things were all fine. Every day was a living nightmare for Gurdeep. He would go into the washroom every day, look into the mirror and wished he was dead. But, whenever he thought of doing something to himself, the image of his father would come in front of his eyes. Gurdeep knew, his dad won’t be able to see Gurdeep’s dead body and if something happened to him then Gurdeep’s mom won’t be able to take it. He couldn’t let that happen to the only two people in his life, he just couldn’t.
Then one day after another day of torture at school, Gurdeep came back home. He couldn’t take it anymore. He just caught hold of his mother and started crying. He cried and cried and cried. It was as if all the tears he had hidden inside himself came out all at once. Gurdeep’s mother was shocked. When she asked Gurdeep what’s wrong, he told her everything. Since then Gurdeep’s parents helped him grow his self confidence back slowly and steadily. It wasn’t easy. It took him eight long years to get his confidence back. Today as he looks back at his life. He has no tears in his eyes. He just wonders:
“What if life had been different? What If I had a life like any other kid? Would things have been different?”
“Yes, they would have been different. But the guy whom everybody thought was not good enough to get anywhere is successful in his own rights. The guy who had no friends at one point has at least 300 odd friends on just FB. I don’t care what i was. I am just bothered about the fact that I am bloody proud of who I am. I have moved from a guy who once wanted to end his life, to a guy who wants to live every moment as if he has never lived before.”
Well, Gurdeep isn’t the guy’s real name. This is my story I just narrated. Guys, life is full of “What ifs”. There can be a million possibilities of how our lives can end up, based on that “what if”, just be proud of who you are and be happy and thankful with the life you have at the moment. Trust me it’s the best you could have had.