Sensible Bakwas » Featured, humour » Guest post by Ajmal amir kasab

Guest post by Ajmal amir kasab

Salam Alaikum,

Firstly, I really want to thank you guys. Out there in Pakistan, I was just another guy getting trained to go fight you guys. But, you guys have made me a celebrity.  The news channels cant stop talking about me, almost every blogger in India has written something about me. By the way am not sure if the news is out, but Ram Gopal Verma just offered me a role in his next movie. Bloody loser wanted me to do the movie in free, but I flatly refused. I mean, why should I? I mean c’mon, you gotta admit, I am more popular than SRK today.

Anyways, tell me something, what took you guys so long to declare me guilty? You guys caught me red handed, now what else did you need? And guess what, that Nikam guy came down to my cell the other day. No, no, don’t get any wrong impressions, he is a nice lawyer. He wasn’t there to make any deal with me. The hawaldar had leaked the news to him that I get some awesome biryani to eat everyday, so the dude just came to join me for dinner. But he wasn’t alone, Tusshar kapoor was along with him. That took me by surprise. What the hell was this guy doing here? Upon enquiring, Tusshar said he had heard from Nikam than i had done some amazing acting in the court room, so, he wanted to take some acting tips from me. However, I flatly refused, I mean c’mon yaar, mai kahan aur woh kahan. The best I could do for him is give him my autograph, nothing else. And guess what, that loser was so thrilled after getting it. I really tried controlling my laughter, but that was just too much for me.

By the way, you have some really irritating investigative officers. They keep asking me for more and more information. I have given all the information I had ab aur information kahan se laoon bhai! They keep saying Pakistan is not getting convinced with the information I have provided them. C’mon! They are never gonna get convinced even if I bring Hafiz Sayeed in front of them and say that he was the one who trained me. Bas yaar ab bohot ho gaya. I am tired now. I came here on a suicide mission. All I want to do is die. Just let me finish that movie with RGV and then do whatever you want with me. I really wanna go up there and tell my friends who came here with me, about what they have missed out on. Just let me go now. I promise, I won’t even file the mercy petition with the president.

Khuda hafiz,
Ajmal Amir Kasab

Written by

Tavish is the administrator and founder of Sensible Bakwas. He is a software engineer by profession and a writer by passion. In case you want to get in touch with him, he is an email away at tavish.chadha@gmail.com. Hope you enjoy your time here. Do leave your feedback in the comment section here.

Filed under: Featured, humour

49 Responses to "Guest post by Ajmal amir kasab"

  1. Chatterbox says:

    Excellent post Tavish.
    You've nailed the issue on the head.
    It's a very sorry state of affairs for the countrymen and the government of India that the loaded with countless cases the judicial system takes a while before decisions are made on cases of crimes so severe.

  2. IIM ka Sarkari Babu says:

    Not one of your good posts… Could have been better…

  3. Lakshmi Rajan says:

    But I dont want to see this monster die a painless death by hanging. I have a method to deal with him. Confine him in a pitch dark chamber for 45 days. Play loud all kinds of death sounds, cries , wails of old women, children etc and then hang him. Let him beg for death.

    Nice article. Another torture could be making him watch RGV ka aag 165 times non stop. If he sleeps wake him, splash water n make him watch. ;)

  4. Guria says:

    Sometimes this is the only way people understand. I applaud and appreciate your take. I am a believer in poking in the eye too. It's way more effective than being logical and patient. :P :D
    I enjoy what you write so much! :)

  5. Shilpa Garg says:

    The title of the post…Almal…a typo!!??
    Nice idea of a guest post! :)

  6. Chanz says:

    omg… this is crzy tavish… ROTFL.. lol…

  7. Abha Midha says:

    a nice take…… his last moments echoed in a light manner. I bet in real life he is scared to die though he is a cold blooded terrorist.

  8. Mahesh Kalaal says:

    I like sarcasm mixes with reality…
    great weaving :)

  9. Lazy Pineapple says:

    wow…a guest post by Kasab…you have become a celebrity now :)

    Sarcasm and truth mixed in equal doses…this gives me the kicks
    Wonderful post.

  10. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    CB
    Thanks CB. The country is in a bad state… we are either scared of taking decisions or we just dont wanna take one. It is a very sorry state of affairs in the country. Anyways I am glad you likedthe post… cheers! :)

  11. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Varun
    hmmm… there is always room for improvement… will want to get a detailed feedback later soemtime :)

  12. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    LR
    Lol dude… that surely will be painfull… speacially your second idea :P

  13. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Guria
    Than you so much… feel great when it comes from writters like u… :)

  14. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Shilpa
    oops… yeah… thanks for pointing that out… i would have never known had u not told me! Typo corrected now! :D

  15. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Chanz
    :D am glad it made u ROTFL :D

  16. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Abha
    I dont think he is… he needs to be human for that… but he isnt!

  17. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Mahesh
    Thanks Mahesh. :)

  18. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    LP
    hehe thanks LP. :)

  19. the Neeraj Norms... says:

    A very straight forward post that effortlessly throws the bitter facts about the pathetic situation in our country. I loved the humour but feel bad about the situation and my helplessness in realizing that the bastard is still breathing and utilizing the resources of our country!

  20. BK Chowla, says:

    The idea of the guest post is very nice.
    This man should be given an exemplary death which no human being must forget.
    Also, may be you should send a copy of this post to Shiela Dixit as she has had no time in four years to study the file.

  21. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Neeraj
    I feel bad about the situation too buddy. the sad part is we cant do anything but feel helpless

  22. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    BK Chaowla
    Thats what most of us want, but at times I feel if thats done, its only gonna act as fuel to those who are plotting such atrocious acts against our country

  23. Bikramjit says:

    WOWOWOWOW a nice one well In sahib ko Jald Itallah di jaye ki aise kaise .. Abhi to hindustaan ki mehmaan nawaazi poori nahin hui hai.. Let a film be made, let some more actors come and take a few acting tips from him..

    ANd let the media have some more frenzy thrown about.. HAmare Hindustaan main dastoor hai .. koi bhi case ho kam e kam 20-25 saal to chalna chahiye… This is a ritual so no no We are not gonna break a ritual just cause of a terrorist.. No my dear.. the lawyers, the judges, have to earn there living.. if we start giving results so soon .. what will happen to them

    So please with a humble apology lets make sure that we REject this Application from Kasab dear.. and let the SHOW and FARCE carrry on…

  24. deepa kashyap says:

    nice idea of guest post..
    i think rather then giving punishment, we gave lots of publicity to him.
    he didn't even thought once while killing so many innocent people and our feelings but we were still stuck between getting more information and all those stuff to convince pak about him.

  25. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Bikramjit
    lol… nice one… ill try and find Shiela Dixit's email id from somewhere and send it across to her. :P

  26. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Deepa
    so true… we have to take a decision on him fast…

  27. Saurabh Panshikar says:

    hehe best hai!
    mazaa aya!

  28. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Saurabh
    me is glad! :D

  29. bhanu says:

    superb Tavish bhai…..mix of fun n realty….

  30. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Bhanu
    Thanks Bhanu!! :D

  31. Shahid says:

    brilliant tavish….really nice…I am working on a similar post….it should be up soon!!!
    but it will be difficult to beat this one

  32. Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe says:

    no comments here, check my new post terrorist for an answer to this.

    P.s. Its a coincidence as I had not seen this post until now and i published it yesterday night. :)

  33. Parth J Dave says:

    Superb post, Tavish. You've actually thought the Kasab way.. A very innovative blog post idea.. Keep 'em coming with your thought-provoking write-ups. Excellent work!

  34. Mr. Pramathesh says:

    Kasab, Your rock!

  35. Swathi Pradeep says:

    EPIC Post! First time here and followed!
    Do check my comics blog:
    http://swathipradeep-comics.blogspot.com

  36. Manav Dhiman says:

    Awesome post, Tavish! It's just EPIC! LOL, I mean Kasab writing! :P But awesome!! :D

  37. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Shahid
    hey! would loveto read it… amd sure it can be great… :)
    thanks for ur lovely comments! :)

  38. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Sid
    hmmm… will check it out soon! :)

  39. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Parth
    Thanks allot buddy… thats was one of the nicest comments I have got :)

  40. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Mr. Pramathesh
    hehe yes he def does :P Thaks for the comments and welcome to sensible bakwas :)

  41. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Swathi Pradeep
    thanks uso much Swathi and a very warm welcome to Sensible Bakwas. :)
    will definitely check out ur blog soon!

  42. Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) says:

    Manav Dhiman
    hey thank u so much buddy… hehe yeah Kasab does write! he is now plannign to start his own blog! :P

  43. Raymond says:

    Hey Tavish

    really sensible news by Kasab in association with bakwas Pakistan

    1. Tavish Chadha says:

      hehehe yeah! :P

  44. Sagar Rai says:

    This could the most sensible bakwas for the day :)

    1. Tavish Chadha says:

      Thanks Sagar :)

  45. I hope you will write the same post for Afzal Guru also.

    1. Tavish Chadha says:

      hmm will think about it! Thanks for stopping by! :)

  46. Abhinandan says:

    We should make Kasab to shoot the people whom he loves the most and let him live with that pain.

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