Sensible Bakwas » Featured, humour » Guest post by Ajmal amir kasab
Guest post by Ajmal amir kasab
Firstly, I really want to thank you guys. Out there in Pakistan, I was just another guy getting trained to go fight you guys. But, you guys have made me a celebrity. The news channels cant stop talking about me, almost every blogger in India has written something about me. By the way am not sure if the news is out, but Ram Gopal Verma just offered me a role in his next movie. Bloody loser wanted me to do the movie in free, but I flatly refused. I mean, why should I? I mean c’mon, you gotta admit, I am more popular than SRK today.
Anyways, tell me something, what took you guys so long to declare me guilty? You guys caught me red handed, now what else did you need? And guess what, that Nikam guy came down to my cell the other day. No, no, don’t get any wrong impressions, he is a nice lawyer. He wasn’t there to make any deal with me. The hawaldar had leaked the news to him that I get some awesome biryani to eat everyday, so the dude just came to join me for dinner. But he wasn’t alone, Tusshar kapoor was along with him. That took me by surprise. What the hell was this guy doing here? Upon enquiring, Tusshar said he had heard from Nikam than i had done some amazing acting in the court room, so, he wanted to take some acting tips from me. However, I flatly refused, I mean c’mon yaar, mai kahan aur woh kahan. The best I could do for him is give him my autograph, nothing else. And guess what, that loser was so thrilled after getting it. I really tried controlling my laughter, but that was just too much for me.
By the way, you have some really irritating investigative officers. They keep asking me for more and more information. I have given all the information I had ab aur information kahan se laoon bhai! They keep saying Pakistan is not getting convinced with the information I have provided them. C’mon! They are never gonna get convinced even if I bring Hafiz Sayeed in front of them and say that he was the one who trained me. Bas yaar ab bohot ho gaya. I am tired now. I came here on a suicide mission. All I want to do is die. Just let me finish that movie with RGV and then do whatever you want with me. I really wanna go up there and tell my friends who came here with me, about what they have missed out on. Just let me go now. I promise, I won’t even file the mercy petition with the president.
Khuda hafiz,
Ajmal Amir Kasab
Excellent post Tavish.
You've nailed the issue on the head.
It's a very sorry state of affairs for the countrymen and the government of India that the loaded with countless cases the judicial system takes a while before decisions are made on cases of crimes so severe.
Not one of your good posts… Could have been better…
But I dont want to see this monster die a painless death by hanging. I have a method to deal with him. Confine him in a pitch dark chamber for 45 days. Play loud all kinds of death sounds, cries , wails of old women, children etc and then hang him. Let him beg for death.
Nice article. Another torture could be making him watch RGV ka aag 165 times non stop. If he sleeps wake him, splash water n make him watch.
Sometimes this is the only way people understand. I applaud and appreciate your take. I am a believer in poking in the eye too. It's way more effective than being logical and patient.
I enjoy what you write so much!
The title of the post…Almal…a typo!!??
Nice idea of a guest post!
omg… this is crzy tavish… ROTFL.. lol…
a nice take…… his last moments echoed in a light manner. I bet in real life he is scared to die though he is a cold blooded terrorist.
I like sarcasm mixes with reality…
great weaving
wow…a guest post by Kasab…you have become a celebrity now
Sarcasm and truth mixed in equal doses…this gives me the kicks
Wonderful post.
CB
Thanks CB. The country is in a bad state… we are either scared of taking decisions or we just dont wanna take one. It is a very sorry state of affairs in the country. Anyways I am glad you likedthe post… cheers!
Varun
hmmm… there is always room for improvement… will want to get a detailed feedback later soemtime
LR
Lol dude… that surely will be painfull… speacially your second idea
Guria
Than you so much… feel great when it comes from writters like u…
Shilpa
oops… yeah… thanks for pointing that out… i would have never known had u not told me! Typo corrected now!
Chanz
am glad it made u ROTFL
Abha
I dont think he is… he needs to be human for that… but he isnt!
Mahesh
Thanks Mahesh.
LP
hehe thanks LP.
A very straight forward post that effortlessly throws the bitter facts about the pathetic situation in our country. I loved the humour but feel bad about the situation and my helplessness in realizing that the bastard is still breathing and utilizing the resources of our country!
The idea of the guest post is very nice.
This man should be given an exemplary death which no human being must forget.
Also, may be you should send a copy of this post to Shiela Dixit as she has had no time in four years to study the file.
Neeraj
I feel bad about the situation too buddy. the sad part is we cant do anything but feel helpless
BK Chaowla
Thats what most of us want, but at times I feel if thats done, its only gonna act as fuel to those who are plotting such atrocious acts against our country
WOWOWOWOW a nice one well In sahib ko Jald Itallah di jaye ki aise kaise .. Abhi to hindustaan ki mehmaan nawaazi poori nahin hui hai.. Let a film be made, let some more actors come and take a few acting tips from him..
ANd let the media have some more frenzy thrown about.. HAmare Hindustaan main dastoor hai .. koi bhi case ho kam e kam 20-25 saal to chalna chahiye… This is a ritual so no no We are not gonna break a ritual just cause of a terrorist.. No my dear.. the lawyers, the judges, have to earn there living.. if we start giving results so soon .. what will happen to them
So please with a humble apology lets make sure that we REject this Application from Kasab dear.. and let the SHOW and FARCE carrry on…
nice idea of guest post..
i think rather then giving punishment, we gave lots of publicity to him.
he didn't even thought once while killing so many innocent people and our feelings but we were still stuck between getting more information and all those stuff to convince pak about him.
Bikramjit
lol… nice one… ill try and find Shiela Dixit's email id from somewhere and send it across to her.
Deepa
so true… we have to take a decision on him fast…
hehe best hai!
mazaa aya!
Saurabh
me is glad!
superb Tavish bhai…..mix of fun n realty….
Bhanu
Thanks Bhanu!!
brilliant tavish….really nice…I am working on a similar post….it should be up soon!!!
but it will be difficult to beat this one
no comments here, check my new post terrorist for an answer to this.
P.s. Its a coincidence as I had not seen this post until now and i published it yesterday night.
Superb post, Tavish. You've actually thought the Kasab way.. A very innovative blog post idea.. Keep 'em coming with your thought-provoking write-ups. Excellent work!
Kasab, Your rock!
EPIC Post! First time here and followed!
Do check my comics blog:
http://swathipradeep-comics.blogspot.com
Awesome post, Tavish! It's just EPIC! LOL, I mean Kasab writing!
But awesome!!
Shahid
hey! would loveto read it… amd sure it can be great…
thanks for ur lovely comments!
Sid
hmmm… will check it out soon!
Parth
Thanks allot buddy… thats was one of the nicest comments I have got
Mr. Pramathesh
Thaks for the comments and welcome to sensible bakwas
hehe yes he def does
Swathi Pradeep
thanks uso much Swathi and a very warm welcome to Sensible Bakwas.
will definitely check out ur blog soon!
Manav Dhiman
hey thank u so much buddy… hehe yeah Kasab does write! he is now plannign to start his own blog!
Hey Tavish
really sensible news by Kasab in association with bakwas Pakistan
hehehe yeah!
This could the most sensible bakwas for the day
Thanks Sagar
I hope you will write the same post for Afzal Guru also.
hmm will think about it! Thanks for stopping by!
We should make Kasab to shoot the people whom he loves the most and let him live with that pain.
Nice post Tavish bhai. Didn’t know about this website.