Firstly, I really want to thank you guys. Out there in Pakistan, I was just another guy getting trained to go fight you guys. But, you guys have made me a celebrity. The news channels cant stop talking about me, almost every blogger in India has written something about me. By the way am not sure if the news is out, but Ram Gopal Verma just offered me a role in his next movie. Bloody loser wanted me to do the movie in free, but I flatly refused. I mean, why should I? I mean c’mon, you gotta admit, I am more popular than SRK today.
Anyways, tell me something, what took you guys so long to declare me guilty? You guys caught me red handed, now what else did you need? And guess what, that Nikam guy came down to my cell the other day. No, no, don’t get any wrong impressions, he is a nice lawyer. He wasn’t there to make any deal with me. The hawaldar had leaked the news to him that I get some awesome biryani to eat everyday, so the dude just came to join me for dinner. But he wasn’t alone, Tusshar kapoor was along with him. That took me by surprise. What the hell was this guy doing here? Upon enquiring, Tusshar said he had heard from Nikam than i had done some amazing acting in the court room, so, he wanted to take some acting tips from me. However, I flatly refused, I mean c’mon yaar, mai kahan aur woh kahan. The best I could do for him is give him my autograph, nothing else. And guess what, that loser was so thrilled after getting it. I really tried controlling my laughter, but that was just too much for me.
By the way, you have some really irritating investigative officers. They keep asking me for more and more information. I have given all the information I had ab aur information kahan se laoon bhai! They keep saying Pakistan is not getting convinced with the information I have provided them. C’mon! They are never gonna get convinced even if I bring Hafiz Sayeed in front of them and say that he was the one who trained me. Bas yaar ab bohot ho gaya. I am tired now. I came here on a suicide mission. All I want to do is die. Just let me finish that movie with RGV and then do whatever you want with me. I really wanna go up there and tell my friends who came here with me, about what they have missed out on. Just let me go now. I promise, I won’t even file the mercy petition with the president.
Ajmal Amir Kasab